


We'll steal the world for you

by elletromil



Series: Polyshipweek [2]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Birthday, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, aro/ace!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7838866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Excalibur, you need to leave now!”</p><p>Roxy hears some muffled cursing through her earpiece and has to stifle her own desire to follow suit.</p><p>“I won’t make it Guinevere… But I made the switch and the Grail is secured to be picked up.”</p><p>“Fuck the Grail, you’re more important! I’m calling Arthur in!” It might be the last thing either of them wants to do right now, but she prefers spoiling the surprise for Harry than having to deal with how angry he’ll get if he learns Eggsy has been arrested on a heist he hasn’t approved of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll steal the world for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Regency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regency/gifts).



> I was really tempted to name this fic "Fuck the Grail" but since it's just a line of dialogue that have little to do with what happens in the fic, I decided against. Also it was brought to me attention that if taken literally, 'Fuck the Grail' was kind of wrong. 
> 
> Anyway, this story was written for this prompt
> 
>  
> 
> _Imagine your OTP+ as thieves. Who’s the mastermind behind all the stunts, who does the kickass parkour tricks to get away from the cops, who’s the lookout and who’s the one who always gets caught/needs help breaking out of jail?_
> 
>  
> 
> But of course, it's gotten wayyyy more fluffy than it was supposed to be, but it is possible I'll play with this verse again, if only in plot bunny form, because I gave it wayyy too much thoughts.

“Excalibur, you need to leave now!”

Roxy hears some muffled cursing through her earpiece and has to stifle her own desire to follow suit.

“I won’t make it Guinevere… But I made the switch and the Grail is secured to be picked up.”

“Fuck the Grail, you’re more important! I’m calling Arthur in!” It might be the last thing either of them wants to do right now, but she prefers spoiling the surprise for Harry than having to deal with how angry he’ll get if he learns Eggsy has been arrested on a heist he hasn’t approved of.

“No! Just call Merlin, they have nothing against me so he’ll have me out in no time. Please, we can still do this love!”

She wants to yell in frustration, but she understands how Eggsy wouldn’t want to throw all their hard work away and he’s not _wrong_. Even if they have some evidence against Eggsy, Merlin can and will have him out of trouble before Harry can even be made aware that his lovers have been gone longer than they should have.

“I am never doing this again, I hope you know that!”

If Eggsy has heard her before he ditches his equipment she isn’t sure of it, but it’s not like they both don’t know she will have to be thrown in jail herself before she stopped pulling heists, especially when it’s for something so personal.

*

Merlin sighs when he sees the caller id on his phone.

“What has Eggsy done now?”

“Wha- I- I mean… How?”

He would enjoy hearing Roxy being so flustered for once, if only he wasn’t aware that for her to be calling, it had to be some kind of emergency.

“The only times any of you call me is when something went wrong. Since I’ve trained Harry well enough over the year to have me on hold if a situation as the potential to go tits up and you’re the one calling, then it means that Eggsy is the one in trouble.”

“Oh.” It’s a sound of quiet realisation and Merlin would let her have a moment, but Eggsy probably doesn’t have such a luxury has time. But before he can remind her, she seems to remember by herself that there is some urgency in the matter she is calling for. “Eggsy needs to be bailed out.”

While Merlin can’t say he is happy about it, at least this is one of the less problematic situation he expected to have to deal with.

“And why can’t you ask Harry to do it?” Because that is usually his role and he can’t help but start worrying something _did_ happened to Harry too, if he isn’t already storming whatever station his boy is being detained in.

“Because he doesn’t know we were on a heist?”

For a second Merlin is outraged for Harry’s sake that his two lovers have decided to go behind his back and that they dare to ask him to clean up their mess, but he calms down pretty quickly. The only people he knows that are more disgustingly in love with their partners than Harry are Roxy and Eggsy. Whatever the two of them have been doing, the last thing on their mind was probably to hurt Harry with it.

“And what was the objective of this heist?”

“There’s this pretty amazing edition of _Le morte d’Arthur_ being held at the British Library at the moment and since Harry’s birthday today we thought we would surprise him with it?”

 _Disgustingly in love_ is indeed very right. It is indeed a very lovely gift for Harry, but he had thought they had all agreed not to further feed the man’s obsession with all things pertaining the Arthurian legend.

“Did they catch him red-handed?”

“Nah, he was just somewhere he shouldn’t have been, but since he’s often been in the wrong place at the wrong time, they decided it was suspicious.”

The opposite would have surprised him. Even back in the day where he was just a pickpocket trying to make the ends meet, Eggsy had only ever been one _allegedly_. His criminal record is pretty much spotless and it makes Merlin’s job as a his lawyer extremely easy.

“So I take it you were unsuccessful?”

Roxy huffs, offended.

“Really, how can you think so lowly of us? Of course we were successful. But they won’t realised that they’re missing something until they got an anonymous tip that there is someone about to steal their copy and find Charlie Hesketh in the room.” She says the name with the same loathing Merlin feels for the young man that time he tried to double cross them. Putting him in trouble to cover up their own heist will only make the gift all the more sweeter to Harry.

“Good work, you devious lass,” he can’t see her of course, but he’s pretty he’s not mistaken to think she’s smiling proudly at his praise. “Tell me where they have him and I’ll bring him home before you know it.”

*

When he gets home that night from his legitimate job as a banker, Harry has the pleasant surprise of seeing all his favourite people reunited in the same room. They make a very cute tableau, all cuddled up on the sofa together, even if he’ll never say it out loud, at least not within Merlin’s hearshot.

Of course, that Roxy and Eggsy are present isn’t a surprise at all, what with them having lived together for close to five years now, but while Merlin often comes to visit, he very rarely is in what he calls a ‘ _touchy-feely_ ’ mood. Something they all respect, but that make them cherish the instances when he actually is in such a mood all that more.

It warms his heart that his birthday seems to be such an occasion for his oldest and dearest friend.

He’s about to go start on dinner when Merlin cracks an eye open and wave him over.

“We’ve ordered some take-away, should be there in half an hour.” Merlin whispers so that he won’t wake up the other two present in the room. Free of having to make tonight’s meal (it doesn’t matter that it is his birthday, as much as he loves the other three, their cooking is utter shite and they all know it) he sits down at one edge of the sofa, carefully lifting Roxy’s legs and so that they’ll be in his lap instead and leans his head against Merlin’s shoulder.

“Didn’t know you were supposed to be there tonight.”

“I wasn’t, but then since I ended up kind of participating in getting your gift, Eggsy told me it would be only fair that I was there when they’ll give it to you.”

That could mean only one thing, that they had stolen something something from him.

And while he sure doesn’t mind not being the rightful owner of what they would gift him, he can’t help but be slightly worried to know they have gone on a heist without him to plan everything. He knows of course that his lovers are more than resourceful and they have clearly pull it off without any major problems, but there was a reason they used Arthur as his code name. To put it simply, being in charge is a second nature to him and he feels responsible of anything that happens even when it is clearly out of his control.

“Relax Harry, your Queen did good.” Merlin kisses his cheek and Harry knows it’s only a way to distract him because if Merlin rarely cuddles, in comparison his kisses are close to mythical. “As did Excalibur, precise as always. Roxy could probably have bailed Eggsy herself, if she didn’t think she wouldn’t have the time to do that and pick up the Grail from its pick-up place.”

Mention of bailing Eggsy out rises his worries, but he fights it off by focusing on the lingering warmth that have been left by Merlin’s lips.

“I know they’re really good… Sometimes I wonder why they even bother with me.” The confession is easy in the cosy bubble they’ve formed together and he’s not surprised when Merlin snorts in answer.

“Don’t make me hit you Harry, you know as well as I do that these two fools are as gone on you are you are on them.”

And it’s not that he doubts his lovers, but he’s been burned before by people he thought loved him as much as he did, long before he even met them, but Merlin, Merlin has always been painfully honest with him. If anything can silence the niggling uncertainty in the back of his head, it’s Merlin’s words.

“So what did you all get me?” He changes the subject abruptly and he can’t see him, but he knows Merlin has just rolled his eyes at him.

“As if I would spoil the surprise. I shudder to think what they would do to me if I told you.”

Harry pouts but of course Merlin stays unmoved, not that he thought it would really work.

Anyway, no matter what his surprise turns out to be, he already feels like he’s got the best gift he could ever asked for.

Nothing, not even the most expensive piece of art in the world could compare to being surrounded by the people he cherishes the most and knowing they cherishes him just as much.


End file.
